


Ours are the moments I play in the dark

by Vlindervin



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: A little bit of fluff I guess, Angst, M/M, Supportive Sisters, a lot of nico's angsty thoughts basically, and friends, poor communicating skills, they almost kiss and proceed to have a crisis about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 16:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11490153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vlindervin/pseuds/Vlindervin
Summary: Without realizing, the two have gotten closer to each other, two raindrops knitting together. Nico’s heart is beating like crazy when he realizes he can count the different shades of green hidden inside the blue of Will’s eyes, when he realizes their pinkies are touching, that the goosebumps on his arms are from Will’s breath on his cheek. He suppresses a shudder when Will touches his cheek, seemingly wiping away an eyelash.Nico is pretty sure Will is going to kiss him. Nico is absolutely sure he wants Will to kiss him. There is no doubt in his mind that if Will doesn’t do it soon, he will.Will moves closer still, impossibly without their lips touching and now his breath isn’t landing on his cheek, it’s falling onto his own lips and gods, Will smells really nice, like peppermint and early mornings, and his eyes are probably, most likely, absolutely the most beautiful thing Nico’s ever seen, his hand moves from the ground up up up, onto Nico’s cheek again, not doing anything, simply laying there and then --CRASH‘Godsdamnit, Jackson!’(Or, Nico and WIll almost kiss, but are interrupted. What follows are a lot of angsty thoughts and some meaningful conversations.)





	Ours are the moments I play in the dark

When he turns his head to look at the boy beside him, Will is already looking at Nico, that same intense yet gentle look in his eyes, the one that reminds Nico of a blue summer sky when you know a storm is coming; right now it’s still good and pleasant, but don’t get too comfortable, the sky can break open any moment now. Nico loves the thrill of it, the expectation, the way your skin tingles with the weight of the air and your lungs get filled with heaviness.

He wonders what kind of storm is approaching at the moment. Will only gets that look in his eyes when he’s deciding whether to do something or not, weighing the positive and negative outcomes in his head. It’s clear the positive side is winning, although it seems like he’s struggling with something.

Nico would ask what it is that has him looking like that, but for some reason can’t force the words to come out. Like there’s something pushing them back inside. Or maybe he’s just too overwhelmed to speak; a ray of sunlight streams through the clouds and perfectly rains down over Will, like a velvety cloak, doing that thing sunlight always does to Will, bringing out the best parts of him and making him look softer, coloring his skin a deep, tanned bronze and his hair golden. His freckles are brought out and stand out more prominently on the bridge of his nose.

The sun hitting Will in all the right places is not a coincidence, Nico thinks. It seems as if the sun, the brightest creature in this universe, has picked Will as her favorite, most likely because he burns as bright as her. The effect the sun has on Will, is the effect Will has on the rest of the population. Pulling out beauty. The lake glistens.

Without realizing, the two have gotten closer to each other, two raindrops knitting together. Nico’s heart is beating like crazy when he realizes he can count the different shades of green hidden inside the blue of Will’s eyes, when he realizes their pinkies are touching, that the goosebumps on his arms are from Will’s breath on his cheek. He suppresses a shudder when Will touches his cheek, seemingly wiping away an eyelash.

Nico is pretty sure Will is going to kiss him. Nico is absolutely sure he wants Will to kiss him. There is no doubt in his mind that if Will doesn’t do it soon, he will.

Will moves closer still, impossibly without their lips touching and now his breath isn’t landing on his cheek, it’s falling onto his own lips and gods, Will smells really nice, like peppermint and early mornings, and his eyes are probably, most likely, absolutely the most beautiful thing Nico’s ever seen, his hand moves from the ground up up up, onto Nico’s cheek again, not doing anything, simply laying there and then --

CRASH

‘Godsdamnit, Jackson!’

They jump back, almost as if they’ve gotten an electric shock. Nico’s heart is still beating harder than before, Will averts his eyes, runs a hand through his hair. A blush is sitting sweetly on his cheeks, pink and standing out like a brush of paint, applied by the careful hand of an artist.

‘Um I -- I should probably go check what’s going on. See if no one’s hurt’, Will mumbles, scrambling to a stand.

‘Yeah -- yeah, of course. I’ll come with.’ And Nico is standing too.

Still not catching each other’s eyes, sneaking looks when the other isn’t. In front of them, Jason is lying under a tree, soaking wet, with Percy laughing so hard he’s wheezing above him.

 _fuck this no I hate my friends I hate my friends I hate my friends_ is what goes through Nico’s head among other things. He can’t believe his idiotic friends managed to ruin this perfect moment, a perfect moment he’s been waiting months to happen mind you, just because they weren’t able to resist a challenge or something? Because they couldn’t act like the grown-ups they are. They’re only back at camp because it’s summer and they have a break from university.

Nico was begrudgingly happy to see them when they arrived, but he’s taking every positive feeling he’s ever had about them back and if he could, he’d burn them in front of their eyes as one does with pictures of an ex. And he’d make them watch.

‘What the fuck is happening?’, he hears Will exclaim next to him. He turns his head and is greeted with the sight of one angry Will, a blush still sleeping on his cheeks, eyes spitting fireballs. _Damn_ , he’s hot.

Nico has seen Will get angry maybe once or twice in the two years they’ve known each other. He doesn’t get angry very often, is a firm believer of the ‘don’t fight violence with violence’ stuff, but when he does get angry it’s explosive and the opposite of when Nico is mad. He gets frightfully calm and intense.

Will takes a deep breath and his anger somewhat evaporates, is lead into his clenched fists. He closes his eyes, brings one of his hand through his hair, closes his eyes for a second.

‘What is happening?’, he repeats, collected. Jason, who’s still lying on the ground, and Percy, who is definitely not laughing anymore, just look at him like they have no idea of what’s happening or why they deserved such an outburst. Well, Nico supposes they don’t and really, honestly didn’t really do anything wrong. The real crime here is bad fucking timing.

‘Uh’, Percy lets out. ‘Nothing?’

‘Are you unable to act like adults for once in your life?’, Nico snaps then, finally out of the trance that was Will’s lips millimeters from his plus the sight of angry, hot Will, and back in the real world.

Percy and Jason shift their eyes to Nico and look just as confused, if not more, than they already did. ‘You know what? I don’t have time for this’, Will says, already walking away. ‘I need to be at the infirmary. If anyone’s hurt, find me there, though honestly? I’m not sure I want to treat either of you right now. Hope you have a good day.’ The last bit is said so sarcastically, he might as well have said _Go to hell_ and the effect would’ve been the same.

He doesn’t look at Nico at all.

As soon as he’s out of earshot, Jason gets up. ‘What did we _do_?’ He sounds extremely confused.

‘Maybe it’s the fact that you act like _children_?’

‘We don’t act differently than we normally do? I don’t -- ‘, Percy’s speech is cut off by Jason interjecting: ‘Wait, did something happen between you two?’ He has his concerned I-must-take-care-of-fragile-little-Nico-older-brother voice on and Nico does not want to deal with this right now.

‘ _No_ , thanks to you two morons.’ What he wants to do right now, is go back to his cabin, lay on his bed for three hours, stare at the ceiling and etch the breathtaking sight of Will under the sunlight looking like he should be the sun god, into his brain so as to never forget it. Maybe imagine what would inevitably have happened if they weren’t interrupted. Then he wants to meet Will for dinner and ask him why he didn’t look at him at all after they got up, if he regrets it. And after Will then hopefully says that _Of course he doesn’t_ , he wants to take him by the arm and lead him into the woods and shove him against a tree or something, to continue where they left off.

Jason is looking at him, all narrowed eyes and suspicious, while Percy is still in the background saying: ‘I’m so confused!’

Poor guy, Nico thinks, he deserves it.

‘Are you okay?’, Jason asks, still looking entirely too suspicious for his own good.

‘I’m _fine_ , Jason’, Nico answers and then he’s gone.

*

That night, at dinner, after Nico spent almost three hours doing nothing and replaying the events of the day in his head and adding an ending to where the story abruptly ended, Will does not talk to him. He does not look at him. He does not ask him to go the woods and shove him against a tree. He does not acknowledge his existence. And coming up with an ending to an ongoing story is nice and all, but only if the answers are actually clear at the end. Nico has never been a fan of open endings. He likes it straightforward and clear.

This is everything but. No, that’s not right. This could be how the story ends. They’re friends, by some sort of power they almost kiss, Will realizes that is not what he wants at all, he doesn’t want to be Nico’s friend when it inevitably dawns on him that Nico does want that, their friendship is over, the end.

He would’ve been fine simply being Will’s friend and admiring his beauty in silence, at least for the time being. It’s not like he would know what to do _at all_ if something were to happen, having no experience whatsoever. So he would’ve been content imagining what Will’s lips taste like, if they’re sweet, soft, warm. He would’ve been fine touching Will’s arms sometimes, under the guise of wanting his attention for something, would’ve been fine having his breath taken away by the otherworldly blue of his eyes and being endeared when Will excitedly tells him about something. _He would’ve been fine._

It would’ve probably gotten difficult after a while, but he figured his feeling would eventually fade, like his feelings for Percy did.

But now that Will _knows_ , his vision of the future is shattered. And it hurts. It really fucking hurts.

Because for so long Nico didn’t acknowledge his own feelings, he pushed them down, forced himself to ignore them. The whole thing with Percy, though he’d gotten closure, wasn’t something he was too keen on experiencing again. Especially with Will, his friend whom he cared about. Their relationship as it was, was wonderful and not something to touch or taint.

Well, Nico should’ve knows his feelings have a life of his own.

It had gotten too much for him to keep pretending they weren’t there, but he told himself he wouldn’t deal with them the same way he did with Percy’s. He’d deal with them healthily and be fine.

Only now he isn’t fine and he isn’t dealing healthily and he’s _hurting._

While eating, Jason had subtly murmured that he was there if Nico felt like talking to him or something. Nico didn’t answer, but it was nice all the same. He doubted he would, Jason wasn’t always the best at advice, but he was there and that kind of destroyed the familiar urges of leaving camp and being on his own that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

It just – it’s just so stupid. Because he’s convinced that if he trusted himself enough and that if Will reciprocated his feelings, they could be something very nice. He knows, he’s been imagining it for months now, not that he’d ever admit that to anyone.

There’s no point in dwelling on what could’ve been when it’s never going to happen, because that’s just what life is. You have all these expectations and dreams, but in the end everything ends up being five shades darker and grayer and duller than you initially planned for. It’s better to not hope or expect anything at all, because life never turns out to be that good and all it leaves is bitter disappointment on your tongue and darkness in your heart.

Nico knows this all too well.

*

‘Hi, Hazel.’ The apparition in front of Nico’s eyes is a little blurry, but he sees Hazel well enough. Lying on his bed once again – he feels like the Nico from two years ago who barely left his room to eat and who eventually got dragged out by a very persistent Jason.

‘Hey, Nico. Reyna says hi.’

‘Tell her hi back. How are you? How’s Frank?’

‘I’m fine and Frank’s doing great too. How are you?’

‘I’m fine’, Nico answers instinctively. It’s still not super easy for him to talk to people, tell them how he feels. Hazel was always the one that was able to drag it out of him more than other people, but the response to hide and pretend nothing gets to him is almost automatic. He’s not sure he feels like having a real conversation about feelings today.

Well, it’s just his luck Hazel always picks up on his lies. He sighs when she raises her eyebrows in preparation to what will, without a doubt be emotionally draining.

‘Are you sure, Nico?’

And Nico does not like to lie to Hazel, especially when he knows it’s no use anyway so he answers: ‘I guess? Kind of.’

The raised eyebrows don’t go down, but stay eerily high. ‘Okay, not really. But it’s fine, I don’t really feel like talking about it.’

He doesn’t, not really, but he has to admit, when Hazel’s eyes turn concerned and, impossibly, get even softer, the urge to just spill everything and let her soothing presence lift him up is strong.

‘I’m your sister, Nico. You can talk to me, it’s what I’m here for.’

‘Pretty sure that’s a therapist’, he chuckles, but those words pierce his heart and transport him into a spiral of memories featuring Bianca wiping away his tears, wrapping her arms around him and whispering sweet nothings into his ears until he fell asleep cheeks wet, but calm and feeling safe. Then he thinks of the way Will’s eyes make him feel safe and honestly? All these feeling inside him get to be a little too much. He’s on the verge of actually crying real tears, but he’s practiced at keeping everything inside and off his face.

It seems like Hazel recognized something on his face, anyway, because her eyes, once again, turn softer (seriously, how?). ‘I’m serious, NIco.’

And, really, he doesn’t stand a chance to that voice, it would be like kicking a hurt kitten when it lets out these pitiful noises. So, he gives in.

‘It’s -- It’s Will.’ S

uddenly Reyna appears in his line of vision next to Hazel, looking as fierce and beautiful as ever. Nico thinks that if he were into girls, he’d probably fall for someone like her. Or not. He can’t actually imagine being into girls, so he has no idea of what it’d be like.

‘Do I need to come down there and kick his ass for you?’

‘You’re still there?’, he exclaims. Now, if he tells Hazel, Reyna will no doubt want to hear everything too. ‘Anyway, I am perfectly capable of defending my own honor if needed, thanks.’

‘Oh, I’m well aware that you _could,_ but we both know you won’t. Not to Will’, she says, accentuating that statement with a pointed look.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘That you’re a big softie around him.’

‘Now, that is just a lie’, Hazel interjects.

Nico sends Reyna a dirty look. ‘Thanks, Hazel.’

‘Nico’s a big softie in general. He just doesn’t let it show around anyone but Will.’

The girls laugh, Reyna high-fives Hazel while Nico looks at them darkly. He’s not actually pissed, he can’t blame them for telling the truth, but he can pretend. Hazel, picking up on his mood, turns back to him and transforms her expression back into one of concern. ‘But seriously, what happened. If he _did_ do anything, the jokes will _stop_ , promise.’

Nico lets out a sigh. ‘I -- he --’, he groans. ‘We almost kissed. Three days ago.’

Neither of them look surprised, which he appreciates. He came out to Hazel a couple months ago and she, unsurprisingly, accepted him immediately and simply hugged him fiercely.

He’d never told Reyna, though, but she doesn’t show any sign of surprise or disgust. She doesn’t bat an eye, patiently waits for him to continue his story. A feeling like a warm blanket in winter spreads through his veins at the reminded that he has friends who accept him. That he can be himself without being scared. With that comforting thought in mind, he continues:

‘We almost kissed. But then Percy and Jason did some stupid shit that interrupted us so we went to see what happened. And then Will left for the infirmary and hasn’t spoken to me since. He just avoids me at dinner and I -- what if I screwed up? He probably doesn’t even want me, you know? Like, he probably realized I’m not enough or that I’m too fucked up or something.

‘I just -- It’s’, he’s quiet for a second, not sure how to proceed. ‘I really want to kiss him. I’ve wanted to kiss him for so long and I don’t know what to do. I guess his silence says enough, though. ‘

He swallows, looks up to see the girls looking at him with an expression he can’t read on their faces. No one says anything for a while. Then Reyna opens her mouth: ‘No offence, but that’s bullshit.’

‘ _What_?’, Nico sneers. This is not the response he was waiting for.

‘That he doesn’t want you. Obviously I don’t know what goes through his head, but have you seen the way he looks at you. I’ve only seen him a couple times, but I’m sorry, Nico. That is not the look of someone who doesn’t want to kiss you at least as much as you want to kiss him.’

‘She’s right, Nico’, Hazel says. ‘I’m pretty sure he likes you, if you would just give him the chance. Why did you almost kiss in the first place? That wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t like you.’

‘It still doesn’t explain why he’s been avoiding me for the past three days.’

Reyna gives him an unimpressed look. ‘Haven’t you been doing the exact same thing?’

‘Yeah, but I -- ‘ She’s right, so he cuts off his sentence there. ‘Why did he get so angry after it almost happened then? Because he regretted it.’

This time it’s Hazel who answers: ‘Probably because he was pissed they interrupted you.

'Don’t tell me you didn’t get mad at them, too. I know you did.’ He shrugs.

‘Maybe.’

‘Definitely’. Reyna says.

‘Will you be okay?’, Hazel asks. ‘It’s going to be fine, okay? Just talk to him.’

‘I’ll try.’

‘I wish I could hug you right now.’ ‘And I wish I could yell at Will to wake up and make a move already.’

‘Thanks’, he says weakly. He didn’t imagine talking would feel this freeing, how encouraging sweet words and reassurances are. He says thanks and he means it. He’s so, so thankful for his friends and his sister, for never giving up on him, believing he’s a good person always and holding him up when all he wants is to drown in his misery.

‘We have to go, but please talk to him? I promise it’ll be better than this. I love you, Nico. Remember that.’

‘I love you too, Hazel.’

‘Nico?’, Reyna says. ‘You deserve him. You deserve happiness, okay? Never forget that.’

And his bedroom wall appears again, washing away the faces of the two girls who took his heart between their hands and gave it a few squeezes. To restart it and restore its energy.

_You deserve happiness, okay? Never forget that._

These words will be echoing in his mind for weeks to come, he’s sure. And not only because he does need to remember that, as he has the tendency to convince himself he’s not good enough for Will, but also because they came from Reyna of all people.

Reyna who doesn’t just give away compliments like that. Who doesn’t believe in anyone, who needs time to trust people. And if she thinks Nico deserves to be happy, she probably has a good reason to. Nico has no reason to doubt her, she’s one of the few people whose opinion he values and whom he trusts because her head stays clear. Nothing clouds her judgment, instead she knows clouds are only water and can be easily ignored. She’s painfully true to her mind. So when she says Nico deserves this, he actually believes that.

He deserves Will. He deserves good things. And if they don’t just happen to him, he’d have to go out there and get them himself.

*

The next day brings sunshine after three days of rain. If this is the universe’s way of showing Nico it approves, he’d rather the universe just fucks off. He doesn’t need the reminder that soon enough the world will be drenched again. Probably.

Though, he’s not as certain Will doesn’t maybe feel the same way as he was before. Hazel and Reyna did a good job of somewhat boosting his self-esteem. Instead of feeling sorry for himself and cursing the sun god and his children like he’s spent the last three nights doing, he instead stayed up all night paging through his memories in search of every moment Will acted as though he liked Nico. There are admittedly a lot. Which is one of the reasons he got up this morning, bone-tired, but determined to go talk to Will and find out what the hell his damn problem is.

Leaving his cabin that morning, the name Ghost King fits him better than it has in months. Due to his intense lack of sleep and frantic worrying, the bags under his eyes are now darker than his dad’s morbid sense of humor and larger than Will’s stupid grin when he wins an argument (it’s an endearing grin really. But saying that would warrant admitting he finds anything about losing an argument endearing and hell no, that’s not going to happen.) He looks exactly like someone who hasn’t slept in three days and he’s not sure he’s happy that WIll will know, or that he’s absolutely mortified.

He doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter, though, it’s not like he can change his appearance so this will just have to do for now. It’s not as if Will hasn’t seen him look worse anyway.

So, he eats breakfast, he trains a little, he smiles at Jason who nearly has a heart attack when he sees Nico outside his cabin looking as tired as death itself, he keeps himself busy until dinner that night. He does not see Will, or rather he avoids going to the places he’d normally go to. Seeing Will now would mess with his head and he’s not sure he’ll feel as confident after. And he needs all the confidence he can get, otherwise he'll be too scared.

The truth is that he's missed Will. It may only have been three days since they last spoke, but he misses Will’s stupid jokes, he misses the way his eyes glisten when Nico says something funny, his witty response to anything sarcastic Nico says. He misses talking to him, misses having someone who knows him as well as Will does. His stubbornness. His big heart and seemingly infinite goodness, never running out of forgiveness and kindness somehow, in situations where Nico would've been long gone. He misses how calm he feels around Will, and more than anything, the way he feels whole and like a good person, how Will has a way of quelling his bad thoughts and swallowing the thunder in his mind and replacing it with summer rain: pleasant, calming, soothing.

It's part of the reason he decided to confront Will finally.

Now, around the campfire, Nico watches the sun set behind the mountains, painting the world in vibrant pinks and oranges and purple. He's been doing this for the past ten minutes. He's seen the sky transform from soft blue to colorful to almost entirely erased. Anything to avoid accidentally catching Will’s eye. He's sitting directly in front of him on the other end of the fire, his golden hair becoming one with the flickering heat. He's a little faded, a little unclear, but Nico prefers it this way. He doesn't think he's able to be faced with the glorious sight that is Will Solace right now.

Around him, the other campers start singing some song. It's vaguely familiar, but he can't properly hear it over this sound of his heart beating like the flapping of a bird’s wing. Camp feels too small all of a sudden, like everywhere he looks, there's Will. Or fragments of him, memories buried somewhere in Nico's mind getting pulled out when confronted with the places. He wants to flee, get out. But he knows he has to do this or he'll regret it. If Will doesn't want to be friends anymore then so be it, at least he'd have tried. And if it happens otherwise… well, Nico doesn't want to get his hopes up.

So, with all that in mind, he lowers his eyes when he sees the first stars appear against the stark black of the sky and tries to hold Will's gaze.

When he looks at Will, Will is already looking at him, though he shifts his gaze when he notices Nico's eyes on him. But Nico is determined so he doesn’t look away, forces Will to look at him again. He does after a while, blue and green through the fire, as intense as if it's just the two of them, as if everyone around doesn't exist, nothing is real except for the two boys staring each other. Nothing is of importance.

Then Nico jerks his head to the side, indicating he wants Will to follow him when he gets up and disappears into the woods. He does not look back. A couple metres into the woods, he sits down on a fallen tree. He waits. A minute, two minutes, three minutes and he thinks Will isn't coming. And then he's there, coming through he trees looking all magnificent and pretty.

‘Sorry. I couldn't get away immediately. Austin kept asking me where I was going,’ he softly says, awkwardly standing in front of Nico, not touching or coming closer or sitting next to him like he would've done before. He speaks quietly, the bustling noises of the campfire can be faintly heard from where they are and Will’s voice cuts through it like a knife through soft butter.

‘It's okay,’ Nico answers just as softly. Something about the night makes his voice feel like something sacred, only to be used when it matters.

‘So, uh,’ Will rakes his hand through his hair, something he does when he's nervous or unsure, things he hasn't been around Nico for so long. ‘Why did you tell me to come?’

Nico has never been one to beat around the bush, preferring straight truths and harsh reality to pleasant lies and soft illusions. So he just looks Will in the eye and says: ‘You've been avoiding me.’

A crunch appears between Will’s eyebrows. ‘Huh? You've been avoiding me too!’

‘I have not!’, Nico answers with a little more force than is strictly necessary.

‘You haven't been in the general vicinity of the infirmary in like, three days straight. You don't look at me, you eat your meals so fast I barely have the time to even notice you're there. To me, that sounds like someone who's avoiding me.’

And, well, Nico can’t really argue with that, it _is_ what he’s been doing.

‘Only because you didn’t look at me at all after’, he pauses, not sure how to call whatever happened between them. ‘you know. I thought you regretted it or something.’

He wishes he hadn’t spoken as soon as the words are out of his mouth. Nothing really happened, what should Will regret? Their friendship? Nico meant to ease into it, find out what Will was thinking and then tell him they could forget about it _or_ continue where they left off. Not this. He didn’t mean to spill his fears immediately.

A crease appears on Will’s forehead. ‘Regret what? The -- the thing by the lake?’ Seems like Will doesn’t know what to call it either. ‘I didn’t. I mean, not like anything really happened anyway, but I didn’t.’

Relief is more of a tangible thing than an emotion, Nico thinks. It falls down on him like a warm shower, spreads through his body, lights a miniature flame inside.

‘So, why didn’t you look at me or talk to me?’

Will _blushes_ , and Nico allows a part of him to melt at the sight and promises himself that if he has the chance, he’ll try to make it happen again.

‘I wanted to give you time for one, I didn’t know if you’ve ever, you know. And I was kind of embarrassed.’

‘Why?’ ‘You did hear how I snapped at Percy and Jason, right? ‘I’m not sure I want to treat either of you right now, have a good day’? What is wrong with me?’

‘You weren’t exactly alone. I got mad too.’

‘Yeah, but they’re your friends, it’s different.’

‘They deserved it.’

Will lets out a small laugh, Nico wants to replay the sound over and over. ‘And then you started avoiding me, so I figured something was wrong’, Will continues

They’re both quiet for a while, the trees are whispering around them, somewhat filling the silence.

‘So, we both avoided each other because we thought the other was avoiding us. Wow’, Nico says then, in awe at his own stupidity.

‘Guess we’re both pretty stupid, huh?’, Will adds with a small chuckle attached to the end, voicing Nico’s thoughts aloud.

‘Guess so.’ Neither knows what to do now. The air has been cleared, but barely, there’s still some smoke left. They know the other doesn’t regret the almost-kiss and they know they were both avoiding each other because the other boy was doing so, creating a vicious circle. But that’s it. Nico doesn’t know if he can kiss Will now, maybe take his hand, just ask him? The last one seems awkward, but probably not as awkward as it would be if Nico kissed Will and he pulled back or didn’t want that at all.

Will is looking at him with those piercing blue eyes, duller and darker at night. Nico’s always thought they reflected the sky, like a sweater that always brings your eyes out differently. On summer mornings his eyes are alert and intensely blue, Nico almost expects to see the sun in there too. Cloudy, grey afternoons, bring duller blue, almost grey, but no less beautiful. And at night… at night they’re affected by the silver of the moon, shedding her fairy dust of light into them and turning them into stars, bright and illuminating the darkness.

He’s staring at Nico with the stars in his eyes, an intense looks, like a thunderstorm is coming and Nico recognizes it immediately as the same one he was wearing by the lake and the reminder sends a thrill through him, lightning through a tree, an electric shock.

Then he comes closer, leaving very little space between their feet, noses close to brushing, his breath on Nico’s skin. He’s fidgeting, his fingers curling around a fray on his jeans and releasing them curling releasing curling releasing. He’s nervous, Nico realizes.

‘Um, can I -- ‘, he mumbles, awkwardly extending a hand out and letting it hover over Nico’s cheek, not touching, but not pulling back either. Nico has stopped breathing.

For all the times he’s imagined this moment happening, for all the times he thought he wanted to shove Will against a tree, he now does not know how to act. This is all very new to him. Should he lean closer, press his lips against Will’s? Or is that not what Will wants? But what else could he possibly want like this? What if Will does want that, but Nico doesn’t know what to do and messes it all up because he does it wrong? What if --

It wasn’t this nerve-wracking when they shared the moment by the lake, but Nico thinks it’s probably all the time he’s had to overthink everything and imagine and analyze it that makes this seem more difficult than it probably is.

Then suddenly, Will starts grinning and Nico’s never been able to resist Will’s laugh, so he joins, though he’s not sure what exactly is so funny about this situation. Will makes a decision and pulls his hand back in the end, using it to rub at his face while his laughing gets louder and louder with every second passing. ‘This is so stupid’, he repeats between wheezes of laughter.

And, Nico has to admit he can somewhat see the humor in the situation. They’ve been friends for months now. The only person who ever knew Nico better than Will was probably Bianca and feeling this flustered in his company is something new, he doesn’t know how to deal with it, being used to the comfort Will’s presence usually brings him.

Two teenage boys in the woods wanting, trying to kiss each other, but freezing up and ending up not doing anything? He laughs.

‘It’s just, I’ve been trying to kiss you for months now and now that I have the chance to do it, I’m too scared’, Will sputters.

Nico laughs at his expression and adds his own stupidity: ‘I don’t know what to do like, at all. I have no idea, but I want to. I mean, it’s just _you_ , why am I like this?’

He has tears in his eyes and through the water he can see Will does too.

‘I know, right? It shouldn’t be this awkward.’

About five minutes pass before their laughter somewhat dies down, spreading silence through the woods again. Will breathes in once, twice and then drops his hands from his face, looks Nico in the eye. He looks serious again, though there’s a happy glint in his eyes that is slow to disappear after a laughing fit.

‘So, can I?’, he asks, his voice a little smaller than it was two seconds ago, but still strong and confident. ‘Kiss you?’

Nico himself is still a little breathless from the laughing, but he nods. The nerves never really left, but they kind of faded to the background at the sight of Will laughing, but now that it’s continuing they flare up again.

Will brings his hand up again, but actually lays it on Nico’s cheek this time. And Gods, they’re so close, closer than they were by the lake. Nico can feel Will’s eyelashes fluttering and then they’re getting even closer, closer still, until there’s no space left between them and Will is kissing him.

He doesn’t immediately register it’s happening, but when he does it feels… stiff, hard, weird. Not like he expected. And then it’s over already, barely allowing Nico to make anything of it.

Will is smiling when he looks at Nico and whispers: ‘Relax.’

And that’s what Nico was scared of. He _knew_ he would do it wrong somehow, he knew it and he was right.

‘You’re cute’, Will says then and that snaps Nico out of thought.

‘I’m not _cute_ ’, he protests, but he can feel his cheeks heating up. ‘I’m the son of death, remember? People are scared of me.’

‘I was never scared of you.’

‘Yeah, well, you’re a fucking weirdo.’

‘Hmm, you’re still cute’.

Nico grumbles in lieu of answer. Will continues: ‘Which is why I would really like to kiss you again, if that’s okay with you. But just… Just relax this time, okay? It’s just me.’

Nico nods, Will leans in and Nico tries to relax. He thinks of all the wonderful moments he’s spent with Will, how he never thought he was scary or weird. He may call Will a weirdo for it now, but the truth is that he’s forever grateful that he wasn’t. He thinks of how they took walks at night and found the perfect spot to talk where no one would bother them, when Nico had nightmares of Tartarus. How Will could be ridiculous, how he met every one of Nico’s dark remark with his own dry humor. How when everything felt wrong and all Nico wanted to do was _leave_ , the thought of Will was a firefly slowly guiding his thoughts to a lighter place and, even though he couldn’t fix all his problems for him, he always helped and brought him comfort, speeding up the process. He thinks of all that and it’s surprisingly easy to relax and let loose after that, because it’s just Will after all. His best friend. There’s no reason for Nico to be nervous, not really. So why is he? So he relaxes. So he lets it happen.

And when their lips touch this time, he feels it. The magic of a first kiss. He feels the fireworks and the butterflies and whatever else people use to describe kissing.

But most of all it feels like sunlight and comfort and a hand in his own when he needs the reminder that he’s not alone. It feels like seeing the sky again, after spending so much time down in Tartarus. it feels like coming home, like how it used to feel back in Venice. It feels like the sunset, casting thousands of pretty colors over the earth, like seeing snow for the first time ever and that childlike wonder that never really leaves a person unfurling inside him and filling him with magic.

It feels right and it feels good and Nico never wants to stop feeling like that, wants to kiss Will forever and live in the overwhelming feeling it brings him.

After what was probably only a mere seconds, Will pulls back with a smile on his face that almost makes breaking the kiss worth it. Nico can’t believe he’s allowed to have this. Will is so beautiful, so good and kind and… _beautiful_. Inside and outside alike.

‘That was better’, he laughs, breathily.

Nico only nods and yanks Will’s head to his to kiss him again and again and again. There might even have been shoving against trees happening.

And later, when they’ve had their fill for the day, they walk back to camp, hand in hand, dopey smile on their faces and Nico is happy. His mind is at rest. He thinks he’ll Iris message Hazel and Reyna later, if it’s not too late. Or he’ll go find Jason and spill everything, knowing he’ll be excited for him which is exactly what he needs right now.

But for now, Will’s hand in his and the ghost of Will’s kiss on his lips is enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Title is from Lorde's Supercut because I've been listening to Melodrama ever since it came out, even if the song doesn't have anything to do with this fic
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @Vlindervin7, come say hi!


End file.
